Caught Inbetween
by Jewel3
Summary: Lily Evans at ten, fifteen and twenty. A story in three parts.
1. 1970 When Lily Evans was ten

_Disclaimer:_ I am not J.K. Rowling. This particular story is mine, but the books it's based on - and all they include - are not. The song lyrics are from the Beatles' song _Across The Universe_ by John Lennon (re: also not mine).  
_Photo Manip:_ To view the cover page I made for this fic, check my profile for the link, or type in: img dot photobucket dot com / albums / v325 / HeronOnFire / CaughtInbetween-LilyFicManip dot jpg (there's no www, so just start with the 'img').

**_Caught Inbetween_ (A Story in Three Parts)**  
_By: Jewel Kaufman_

**I.**  
When Lily Evans was ten years old, she had a year left before her Hogwarts acceptance letter came, and her life changed forever. At ten, she was still considered Muggle, and although she was a whimsical child, she already knew that magic as she knew it was relegated to fairytales and Disney films.

Still, she couldn't help imagining the fantastic possibilities of 'what if?', and nightly dreamed of flying high over the treetops, feasting her eyes on the world below. She'd been told that magic wasn't real, and she accepted that as truth in the way a young child takes their parents' words as gospel, but Lily remembered the year before, when her whole family had gathered in front of the television to watch as that American astronaut, Neil Armstrong, became the first man to walk on the moon. If that wasn't magical, she didn't know what was.

And she wouldn't know what was. Not for another year, though to those who knew what to look for, it was already more than apparent.

Wizarding children often experienced instances of accidental magic when their emotions ran high, and in spite of her Muggle heritage, Lily Evans was no different. Her bedroom door locking, though it didn't have a lock; the classroom bully burning his hand as he tried to grab her; her carefully made diorama still in perfect condition, even though someone had purposefully knocked it off of her desk moments beforehand... Things just seemed to _happen_ around Lily, making a lot of would-be friends just think of her as weird.

The worst was her older sister, though. Petunia was terrified of Lily's "abnormalities", disgusted by the pride and awe her parents displayed when Lily told them about things like the diorama, and above all else, convinced that Lily did all of it on purpose.

It was on a particularly antagonistic day between the two sisters, shortly after Lily's tenth birthday, that the most astonishing, impossible example of these occurrences took place.

A muddy Lily had come flying up the Evans' driveway, with an outraged Petunia in hot pursuit, screaming something about turning her friend Annie's hair green.

"She pushed me in the mud!" Lily shrieked, throwing the front door open and dashing inside, "Besides – it wasn't me!"

Petunia followed closely, reaching out to make an almost desperate grab for her sister and letting out a cry of frustration when she missed.

"It's ALWAYS you!" Petunia screeched, horse-like features pulled taut into a snarl as she pushed her dull brown hair out of her face, "And I'm gonna do worse than a little push in the mud!" she added fiercely, punctuating her words with a leap at the younger girl, her larger form making the maneuver something Lily hadn't a hope of escaping.

The redhead had already started shouting for her mother, and the answering pounding of footsteps could already be heard from upstairs, when all of a sudden time seemed to slow down for Lily. In one instant Petunia was falling towards her with a vicious look on her face, and in the next, both girls heard a loud _CRACK!_ – and Lily was gone.

Petunia landed hard on the floor, face first, her cry almost-but-not-quite covering the second _CRACK!_ that sounded on the floor above. Upstairs in her room, Lily opened her eyes, not knowing exactly when she'd closed them, taking in her sudden surroundings in utter shock and disbelief.

The scream she let out upon recovering her voice had both her mother and sister come running.  
Her mother had been the first to arrive, automatically sweeping her youngest daughter up and into her arms, rocking the now-shaking girl and trying to comfort her as best she could.

Petunia, when she'd arrived in the doorway, let out a scream of her own, and Lily immediately burst into tears as the older girl babbled out the nonsensical explanation.

Their mother, completely baffled and slightly afraid, quickly decided that her own panic would wait until later. This was not the first time Lily had done something that defied all sense of logic, and though it didn't stop the absolute stupefaction from setting in, she knew that a bad reaction in front of her daughter would only make things worse. She forced herself to exude a sense of calm, her efforts coming out only a little bit awkward.

"Shh... shh... it's all right," she soothed, kneeling down to cup Lily's tearstained cheeks, "And... at least you got to skip all those stairs," she pointed out, smiling slightly at Lily's watery laugh.

Petunia just watched them from the threshold, unwillingly affected by her little sister's sobs. It was the first time she had ever witnessed Lily being anything but ecstatic in the aftermath of one of her displays of freakish power. This was a moment Lily would never know about. A moment in which Petunia, in conflict over her reaction to this newest "episode", could almost sympathize with her sister – could almost actually realize that Lily was just as confused by these continuous strange happenings as she was. This was a moment that might've turned the direction of their relationship onto an entirely different path.

But it was then that Petunia realized the mud was gone.

Somewhere between the time Petunia went airborne downstairs, and ran upstairs at Lily's scream, Lily's clothes had been washed, dried and pressed – all of which combined had to have only taken an instant!

Lily had done the impossible! _AGAIN!_ Their parents were going to be so proud. Of her. Sympathy vanished in an instant, never to return.

"You little freak!" Petunia hissed, looking past the shocked look on her sister's face as Lily turned to face her, "You absolute _freak_!" she cried, before turning around and taking off down the hall. Lily heard her bedroom door slam a mere moment later.

Lying on her bed after dinner that night, Lily thought about what she had inadvertently done that day. Spontaneous apparition (as she would later learn it was called) was incredibly rare accidental magic. But then, Lily Evans was an incredibly rare witch.

Not that she knew that yet, of course. At that moment, Lily Evans didn't know a lot of things.

She didn't know that the relationship she would have with Petunia for the rest of her life would be defined by that day's events. She didn't know that an owl would fly into her kitchen one day a year from now and make her entire life suddenly make sense. She didn't know that the decision she made that day at eleven years old would introduce her to the missing part of herself, and let her experience things she'd never even dreamt of. She didn't know that that same decision would show her horrors she couldn't have fathomed, and shorten her own life to just ten more years.

All her life, she had felt the pull of a world she didn't yet know existed. It was a call to something nameless, a wistful, yet otherwise indescribable feeling that, at ten, she had no choice but to ignore. That evening, Lily lay on her bed, listening to John Lennon on The Beatles' latest record, voice only slightly off-key as she sang along with the chorus;

"Jai guru deva om... Nothing's gonna change my world... Nothing's gonna change my world..."

She doesn't know that a year from now, as she packs her trunk in preparation for her first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she will take this record off her shelf, play this song and laugh.


	2. 1975 When Lily Evans was fifteen

_Disclaimer:_ I am not J.K. Rowling. This particular story is mine, but the books it's based on - and all they include - are not. The song lyrics are from the Beatles' song _Across The Universe_ by John Lennon (re: also not mine).  
_Photo Manip:_ To view the cover page I made for this fic, check my profile for the link, or type in: img dot photobucket dot com / albums / v325 / HeronOnFire / CaughtInbetween-LilyFicManip dot jpg (there's no www, so just start with the 'img').

**_Caught Inbetween_ (A Story in Three Parts)**  
_By: Jewel Kaufman_

**II.**  
When Lily Evans was fifteen years old, she had a year left until the war. It had been brewing for several years now, though Lily had been too busy in the beginning, being dazzled by the exciting new world she was now a part of. There was too much to learn in those first few years to notice the suspicious string of events that would eventually lead to the inevitable. Hogwarts itself was overwhelming enough without taking into consideration the entire Wizarding world, and though she had quickly gotten a subscription to the Daily Prophet, the sporadic reports on the disappearances of variously ranked Ministry workers did not register much on her then-pre-teen radar.

Now, though, it was getting near impossible to ignore the suspicious disappearances and sightings of scary figures in black robes and white masks who were rumoured to work for someone or something called 'Voldemort', and though it would be another year before war was officially declared, the battles had already begun.

Battles that, on a smaller scale, were already playing out on Hogwarts' grounds.

Life at the castle was both completely and not at all what she had expected it to be when she'd first arrived there five years before. However, from the very first time she'd stepped into the Great Hall with her fellow first years, still wet and cold from the boat ride across the lake, Lily had known that this was indeed where she belonged.

Unfortunately, others had – and did – feel differently.

Lily could remember her first sorting ceremony as if it were yesterday; the unique combination of excitement and terror as the hat deliberated, and then the run to the Gryffindor table as they cheered their new addition.

She had been a bit skeptical of the hat's assessment of her, not sure that she was as brave as the hat had most vehemently insisted. That was when another first year had joined their table; Marlene McKinnon, who still remained the best friend Lily had ever had. Later that night, in the privacy of their new room, Lily had confessed her worries to Marlene, who had quickly responded with very wide eyes;

"Of course you're brave – you're _Muggleborn_! Just coming here in the first place shows that."

Unfortunately, over the years, Lily had realized how right she was.

It had been naïve of her to think that her problems would end in the Wizarding world. The hierarchy she'd found herself in amongst her new peers went _way_ beyond anything she'd ever confronted in the past.

Pureblood, Half-Blood and Muggleborn (or Mudblood, to an unfortunate amount of people). Everything was about parentage, and if you didn't have the right kind (were Muggleborn), you weren't a real wizard.

In the beginning, the taunts and slurs left Lily in tears, feeling as dirty and tainted as the blood they said flowed in her veins. She'd despaired of it all, imagining herself damned; too magic for the Muggle word, too Muggle for the magic one. It seemed like an impossible situation, but with the help of Marlene, and several others like her, Lily realized that she couldn't let them win. The pressure on her was enormous, but Lily, being Lily, could only rise above it.

She worked herself to the bone each year, learning everything she could, wanting to master it all to prove to every one of those naysayers (and perhaps to herself as well), that she was just as magical as any one of them. Upon entering fifth year, she had been named Prefect, and she proudly fastened the badge to her robes every morning. It was not just a status symbol to her, but a badge of honour as well. It was the first real step towards her goal, and with the Ordinary Wizarding Level (O.W.L.) exams that year, she was determined to place well.

Though there were some just as determined to stop her.

This time her troubles came not from the impending war and the bigotry it created, but from a seemingly (and deceptively) more benign source; James Potter and friends.

A weekend in which they were allowed to visit the neighbouring Wizarding village of Hogsmeade never went by without Potter (as she called him), suggesting that she should just admit her feelings and go out with him.

They'd been having Hogsmeade weekends since third year.

Lily had never met anyone as completely and totally arrogant as James Potter. Even Sirius Black, Potter's equally obnoxious best friend, could see that Lily was in no way 'holding herself back'. Potter just couldn't seem to take a hint. He thought that if he kept ruffling his hair and starting petty fights with poor Severus Snape, she would somehow start falling all over herself to be near him. There was nothing Lily hated more than bullies, having been the target of all too many of them in her own lifetime.

But Potter was apparently completely blind to his numerous faults. No matter how much she ignored him, he would always be along somewhere, showing off fancy flying maneuvers with his top of the line broom. Ever since Lily had fallen off of the school broom she was using during their first flying lesson in first year, her aspirations had remained fixed on solid ground. She was not impressed by silly loop-de-loops. And even if she had been, she'd never give him the satisfaction of admitting it. There was more to life than playing Quidditch, and there was more to life than James Potter. The sooner he figured that out and grew up, the better. Not that it would affect her in any way – other than perhaps providing her with a bit of uninterrupted study time, that is.

The most important thing to Lily, especially as she got older, was finding a way to carve herself a niche of her own in the Wizarding world, once she'd left the relative safety of Hogwarts' protective walls. The fifth years had career planning appointments coming up with their Head of House, and Lily had received some surprising and quite flattering comments during her own.

"Well, Miss Evans, I'm sure you are clear on the purpose of this meeting. I'm here to discuss any future career goals you might already have in mind," said Professor McGonagall, her Transfiguration professor, opening the conversation in her usual brisk manner.

"Yes, Professor." Lily dutifully replied.

"Well then, I spoke with Professor Flitwick this morning, and he has told me that your Charms work thus far has been truly exceptional. You should know Miss Evans, that while Filius is kind, he delivers praise neither lightly nor extravagantly," Professor McGonagall added, somehow managing to make her words sound stern in spite of the meaning they conveyed. "Apparently you truly have a gift for the subject, which is a serious consideration when choosing a future vocation."

Lily felt her cheeks start to redden at the commendation, and immediately tried to curb the impulse to blush. Professor McGonagall's use of the Charms professor's first name brought home the fact that at that moment she was being spoken to as an adult. Whether it was because of the compliments or the fact that they were discussing Lily's future, she wasn't sure, but she did know that if she were to be treated as such, she wanted to act the part as well.

This was another difference between the Muggle and Wizarding worlds that she was still working to get used to. She could remember Petunia at fifteen, not having a single clue as to what she wanted to do with her life. Even at eighteen, Lily was doubtful that Petunia had made a decision apart from the holy triumvirate of 'marriage, children, normalcy'. But then, her parents had not really expected Petunia to have a full plan as of yet. Not so for her new world.

There weren't any magical universities, no other schooling after you finished Hogwarts at the age of seventeen aside from specialized training programs. At seventeen you were an adult, and at fifteen you were almost there. She'd even heard Potter and company putting some effort into their future plans (though she hadn't cared to stay for details). There were times when it seemed as if stepping into the Wizarding world was akin to stepping back in time. Ignorant of electricity, a near-adult at fifteen, and the week before, she had actually heard someone use the word 'courting'. Many people even decided to get married right after graduating – something that Lily couldn't even fathom.

Still, despite the fact that a lot of it was beyond her, this _was_ her world, and she did have an idea of what she wanted her future to be.

"I was thinking of perhaps being an Auror," Lily offered in an exceptional example of an understatement.

More than anything, Lily wanted to be an Auror. Not yet plagued by the constant fear of being in the midst of war, the glamour – as well as the guarantee that she was doing something noble and worthwhile, appealed to her immensely. In theory, she knew the job was dangerous, but secluded as she was, safe within Hogwarts' walls, she could not yet truly grasp everything that meant. All she knew was that she wanted it.

Professor McGonagall's eyes narrowed, and she gave Lily a measured look. Lily felt as if she were being sized up by her Head of House, and could only hope she wasn't found lacking. After a silent moment, the professor spoke again.

"What is it that draws you to the particular career, Miss Evans?" Lily forced herself not to shift in her seat, or bristle at the hint of skepticism that had seeped into the older woman's tone.

"I want to help," she offered, knowing the explanation was incredibly simple, yet not able to express it better than that, "Whatever's coming, I want to help."

Again, Lily found herself the subject of a slightly unnerving stare, and when a small smile soon appeared at the corners of the professor's lips, softening her usual terse demeanor, Lily had the strangest feeling that it wasn't because of her future aspirations.

"I think you will, Miss Evans," she said, "No matter what you end up doing." Before Lily could interrupt, she continued on in a crisper tone, "But Charms will help if you're to be an Auror."

The appointment concluded shortly after that, and Lily had gone back to Gryffindor tower with a packet of information to look through, and an eagerness to start studying for the O.W.L.s.

At fifteen, Lily Evans knew a lot more than she had at ten. However, there were still quite a few things she didn't.

She didn't know that when James Potter grew up it would affect her very much, indeed – and _not_ in a way involving study habits of any kind. She didn't know that those she thought of as obnoxious and arrogant today would be those she considered family in less than two years. She didn't know that by her own graduation, she _would_ be able to fathom marriage. She didn't know just how much she would lose before that day arrived, just how much each and every one of them would lose, before and afterwards. She didn't know that war was unavoidable by this point, nor what her own role would be. She didn't know that at fifteen, she had already lived three quarters of her life.

She was Muggle and Witch, adult and child, patient and caring with a volcanic temper. Brave and frightened. Jaded and naïve. A mass of contradictions being pulled back and forth from one direction to the other. Belonging to both and neither at the same time.

And from here on out, it would only get worse.


	3. 1980 When Lily Evans was twenty

_Disclaimer:_ I am not J.K. Rowling. This particular story is mine, but the books it's based on - and all they include - are not. The song lyrics are from the Beatles' song _Across The Universe_ by John Lennon (re: also not mine).  
_Photo Manip:_ To view the cover page I made for this fic, check my profile for the link, or type in: img dot photobucket dot com / albums / v325 / HeronOnFire / CaughtInbetween-LilyFicManip dot jpg (there's no www, so just start with the 'img').  
_Reviewers:_ I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's left such wonderful reviews for this story. It's a story I worked incredibly hard on and that has become very close to my heart, so I'm very glad that it's being enjoyed by others as well. Also, thanks for the compliments on the photo manip I made, it took a long time to make, but I'm very proud of it as well. If anyone would like to leave their email in the review, I will write to thank them personally. Otherwise, I hope you continue to read my work! I have another HP story ready to come out _very_ soon. And **Fallingflower**, thanks for the idea; a James companion piece is definitely something that's now on my fic-writing schedule. :) Stay tuned - and enjoy part three of...

**_Caught Inbetween_ (A Story in Three Parts)**  
_By: Jewel Kaufman_

**III.**  
When Lily Potter (nee Evans) was twenty years old, she had a year left to live. The Wizarding world had been officially at war for five years, though most had been fighting for twice that long. At twenty, Lily had been actively involved for a little over three years, though not in the role she'd once thought to fill. Though it had been a goal of hers for almost her entire Hogwarts career, upon graduation, Lily had decided not to become an Auror.

The grim realities of war had erased the exciting allure that the position once held – though that was far from the only reason for her change of mind. A lot of illusions she'd once held had fallen by the wayside years ago; the people she knew were not invulnerable, those in charge didn't always know what they were doing, things that are technically wrong are sometimes very right, and there are times when the impossible can happen.

Her eyes had been opened near the end of her seventh year at Hogwarts, when the Dark Mark appeared above her parents' house, signifying the Death Eater attack. Petunia, having been out with her fiancé at the time, had come home to a scene straight out of any child's most unspeakable nightmares. Lily hadn't seen or spoken to Petunia since the funerals.

It shouldn't have happened. None of it should've happened, of course, but it seemed that as time went by, instead of adapting in a somewhat efficient manner to their new situation, the Ministry of Magic went deeper and deeper into disarray. And without competent leadership, how much of an effect could the Aurors have?

It was, admittedly, a situation unlike any the administration could've expected or had dealt with previously. The faces of the Death Eaters were concealed by the hoods they wore, leaving their identities up to anyone's guess. Several people had been found to have been under the control of the Imperius curse already, and every week more people were dying and disappearing. And if that weren't enough, the Ministry was also responsible for keeping everything hidden from the Muggle world – though they were dying too.

Yes, Lily could understand the difficulties they were all facing, but she didn't want her efforts to help to be controlled by a bureaucracy in the midst of chaos. And thanks to Hogwarts Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, they wouldn't have to be.

At the end of her seventh year, Dumbledore had approached her and a few selected others (on what she would later find out to be Professor McGonagall's recommendation), asking if they would like to become a part of The Order of the Phoenix, a secret society he had founded for the purpose of defeating Voldemort – or, as he was now being called, He Who Must Not Be Named. Lily despised seeing that, or the also popular You-Know-Who replacing the name of their enemy in the articles in the Daily Prophet. It was just fear – a reasonable fear, to be sure, but one that, if they were to let it overwhelm them, would have the Dark side winning without a fight. Perhaps Lily was not cut out to be a soldier for the Ministry, but she would fight for the Light any way she could.

With that in mind, she took the advice Professor Flitwick had given all those years ago, and eagerly accepted the apprenticeship he offered her after graduation. Under his guidance, Lily found herself doing something she'd never realized was possible, something that she found more rewarding than all the front-line battles she would now never see. More than just working with Charms, she was _creating_ them. Building spells for Aurors and members of the Order to use against the enemy. Spells to sooth or otherwise fix what the enemy did to them. Their most recent invention, the anti-gravity mist – which disoriented your opponent by flipping them upside-down and holding them in mid-air – was one she was especially proud of.

Life after Hogwarts wasn't anything like what Lily had once imagined it would be. Which, in fact, could also be said about the man she had chosen to share it with.

James Potter had apparently undergone a complete personality transplant the summer before their seventh year. She had later found out that both of his parents were Aurors, and realized that the uncertainty of their line of work in wartime could sober even the most notorious of layabouts. From the very first day back he had behaved in a manner completely different than any she had seen from him before.

Seventh year had awarded her the honour of being Head Girl and it had been whilst unpacking in the posh private dormitory that she had first met the new him. He was sitting in the small common room located between the Head Boy and Girl bedrooms, and she sighed upon laying eyes on him, gritting her teeth and steeling herself for the inevitable.

"Where's Remus?" She asked, rolling her eyes at the confused look he shot her before continuing, "You're here, so Remus must be Head Boy. Dumbledore's not dotty enough to trust Black in a position of power, and Peter only encourages the lot of you." It would be okay to share Heads duties with Remus Lupin, she decided. He had shared prefect duties with her during their fifth and sixth years, and they got along all right. As long as his friends weren't always around, everything would probably be just fine.

"You forgot one other option, Evans." James pointed out, and she was momentarily distracted by how unnatural his usual smirk was looking on his face, "Sorry to disappoint."

It took a minute for his words to sink in, and when they did, Lily could only gape in disbelief.

"_YOU_?" She blurted, "Impossible!"

He laughed at her reaction, but it was oddly without mirth and he seemed to deflate before her eyes. The response – or lack of – was so disconcerting that her anger drained away, leaving her feeling uncomfortable and vaguely confused. Now that her attention had been drawn to it, she could see the badge he wore pinned to the front of his school robes.

"Potter," she began hesitantly, "Not to offend, exactly, but – why?"

He shook his head ruefully and shrugged, "Your guess is as good as mine, Evans. Maybe he thought I could do some good." And Lily was once again caught off guard by the wistfulness and determination that he had unconsciously infused into those words.

"_We_," she started before she fully realized she was speaking, "_We_ could do some good."

"We." James agreed, and Lily was struck by the different type of intensity she now saw in his eyes. She shivered, confusion and slight recrimination following the gesture, and averted her gaze, looking back to the trunk she still had to take to her room.

"I should unpack." She said quietly, chancing a glance in his direction. He only nodded, and for a moment she thought he looked just as bemused as she felt.

Shaking the idea from her mind, she started pulling her trunk up the stairs towards her new room, pausing half-way up at the sound of his voice.

"See you later, then... Lily." He said, and she was suddenly utterly convinced that this was all a strange dream.

"'Bye... James." She answered, continuing on her way up the stairs without looking back.

It hadn't been a dream, though sometimes it still seemed like it was. The two of them became a surprisingly good combination, and he worked hard in the beginning to gain her trust, to prove his change was genuine. They had taken their time falling in love, and while they didn't marry _straight_ out of Hogwarts, Marlene had teased Lily that being an eighteen year old bride was close enough.

Marlene McKinnon remained Lily's closest friend all the way through Hogwarts. She had also joined The Order of the Phoenix upon graduating, and was the Maid of Honour at Lily's wedding.

The entire McKinnon family had been murdered the year before, their name joining the list of others who had been almost or completely wiped out in Death Eater attacks. The McKinnons were gone, as were the Fenwicks, whose son Benjy had also been in the Order, as well as the Prewitt twins, Gideon and Fabian, who were killed in a battle against five Death Eaters, taking the Prewitt family name with them. Their sister, Molly, was the only one of that family to survive, but she had long ago become a Weasley. The Bones family finished off the list, as Edgar and his wife, along with his parents were killed in another surprise attack, leaving behind his sister Amelia, and newborn daughter Susan, who had been staying with her aunt for the evening.

Edgar had been a member of the Order too, and Lily wasn't blind to the trend. James' parents had also been killed their seventh year, leaving them as the very last of the Potters, and though she had turned away from being an Auror, she had still stood on battle ground as a member of the Order. She was one of the few who had faced battles involving Voldemort, himself, and both she and James had managed to come out of them alive all three times – an honour that only Frank and Alice Longbottom could also claim.

She had even tried to get in touch with Petunia, which had been difficult to say the least. But she had seen an announcement in a Muggle newspaper, celebrating the birth of Petunia's son, Dudley, a week before her own baby was due. The thought of her nephew gave her the strength to dial the phone number, and she waited as it rang, hoping against hope that her sister would answer.

"Hello, Dursley Residence." A familiar voice greeted, and Lily steeled herself before voicing a reply.

"Petunia? It's Lily... Please don't hang up." She said, adding the last part quickly at her sister's angry gasp.

"What do you want?" Petunia asked, and Lily could tell she was gritting her teeth.

"I... I wanted to say congratulations. About Dudley. I read the announcement in the newspaper, I'm very happy for you." She said, "We're going to have a baby boy too, any day now, actually. We're going to name him Harry."

"I don't care if you're happy, or what you name your little _freak_," Petunia fumed, "You just keep your _kind_ away from us, all right?"

Lily cringed at her sister's words, an unwelcome sinking sensation appearing in her stomach in anticipation of her reason for calling.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. We're in a war." She said, her words purposefully blunt as she could sense her sister's growing impatience.

It seemed that the effort was a success, as though Petunia didn't say anything, she was still staying on the line. Lily quickly explained, details spilling from her lips in an attempt to make sure her sister heard everything. She laid out the issues that concerned them, explaining the rest in only vague terms as she knew Petunia wouldn't stand to hear it all.

When she was done, there was another brief silence before it was pierced by her sister's shrill voice;

"You're all INSANE! You stay away from us, Lily – I'm warning you! You couldn't protect our _parents_, so don't bother with me! Just _STAY_ AWAY! I GUARANTEE THAT'LL HELP!"

Petunia slammed the phone down before Lily had time to form a response, and she hung up after a moment of dial tone, knowing that all she could do now was speak to Dumbledore and hope for the best. It had been silly of her to entertain – however briefly – the thought of a baby Dudley and Harry, playing together like friends. She had lost her sister a long time ago, and Harry and Dudley would probably never even come face-to-face.

Harry had been born on schedule, along with Alice Longbottom's Neville, as the prophecy said, though she tried to banish it from her thoughts as often as possible. She had never been a believer of Divination, and only the fact that Dumbledore believed it made her pay it any mind.

At twenty years old, Lily had learned things she'd craved for, and things she'd never, _ever_ wanted to comprehend. She had lived a lifetime in only a fraction of the time, but there were still things left to learn.

Petunia had taught her anger, but she would learn forgiveness through the thought of Dudley Dursley, and at her end would hold no ill will towards her sister, achieving a sense of peace the other would never have. Voldemort and the Death Eaters had taught her hatred, but from Severus Snape, she would relearn how to hope, as she became one of the few to know the secret of his change in loyalties before the war was over. The war had taught her the true meaning of darkness, but Dumbledore showed them the light over and over again, and she would learn that there was no point in fighting if you didn't allow yourself to feel what you were fighting for.

James had shown her love, and would continue to, every day of his life. But Harry would teach her devotion, and she would learn the hows and whys a person can give of themselves entirely for the sake of someone else.

Life had taught her to be afraid, but at the end, when she stood and faced her death, she would learn that without fear, one could not be brave. She would know that her entire life had somehow lead directly to that moment. She would take that moment, she would rise above it, and she would make it hers.

Though Harry Potter would be hailed as the Boy-Who-Lived, Lily would be the true heroine of that war, as the sheer power of her essence – the collection of contradictions that had made her who she was, lingered in the air long after she was gone. No one would know that the girl forever caught inbetween the two worlds had ended up saving both. But that was okay, because in the end, she didn't need glory. The decision she made that day at eleven years old had introduced her to the missing part of herself, and the love she had for that little boy was powerful and tangible enough to connect with him in the aftermath of her death, and reside there within his veins for years to come.

At twenty, Lily Potter was not a fan of Divination. But a year from now, as she puts her son to sleep for what will be the last time, she will sing the same song her ten year old self adored;

"Limitless, undying love which shines around me like a million suns, it calls me on and on, across the universe..."

This time, when she gets to the chorus line, she will not laugh.

_fin._


End file.
